The soul of a gypsy queen.

I’m watching intervention for the first time. Two boys are trying to help their mom who is addicted to meth. She reminds me of my own mom. My mom was a junkie for years. A down right heroin addled mess. I love my mom, I really do. She’s been clean for about 15 years. She’s fought more demons than I could ever imagine and is the strongest person I know. Sadly the drugs have taken their toll on her. She makes stuff up a lot. I hardly know when to believe her when she tells stories from her childhood or from what she did the other day. One second she’s reading tarot cards and the next she’s reading the bible. Lately she spends her days confined in her home. The lights off and the tv on. The tv is always on. If she’s not watching a horror movie she is watching VH1 reality tv. She lives for Ed Hardy whatever. She used to be the Rock ‘N’ Roll groupie. She dated half of Aerosmith and David Lee Roth (this has all been confirmed). When I was a kid and got an En Vouge tape she freaked. Now she listens to rap and pop music like its going out of style. She was so excited when told me she bought “apple bottom jeans and boots with fur”. It freaked me the fuck out. This meth-addled lady reminds me of her so much its down right disturbing. I love my mom so much but I hate what she’s becoming. They say once someone is clean everything is okay. When someone has inflicted as much damage to themself as much as she did the effects are lasting. I fear that she is in a constant state of detieriation. Ever since her and B broke up everything has changed. She is still the symbol of strength to me, but I fear she is losingg her mind and its frightening. She lives in a fantasy. Everytime I see her she asks me if I’ve talked to or heard from my ex. She knows we haven’t had any contact since January. Its like she forgets all that I went through this year. She was there during a lot of it. I have no idea where her mind is. I love my mom. I really do, but I seriously worry about her.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s