My Friend Rob Has The BEST Stories!

Robert

(posts a photo into the chat)

The kid with curly hair is ralph.

I spray painted his balls pink later that night.

4:16amEastCoast

WHAT?!?!?

Explain!!!

4:17amRobert

He kept showing people his little dick.

and pulling it out over and over agin.

Waffles kept spray painting shit pink.

Because he had a can of pink spray paint.

Mandy was pissed cause Waffles got some of the neighbor’s shit pink,

so I took away waffle’s can of spray paint.

Five minutes later ralph showed me his pecker for the fourth time

and I had had enough.

I put two and two together,

and unleashed a torrent of paint at his taint.

4:18amEastCoast

So he was AWAKE for this?!

4:18amRobert

I thought it was quite funny, until I woke up the next day and realized this could have side effects…

4:18amRobert

I called my friend Colleen, who told me ralph had locked himself in the bathroom for hours and came out with some kind of rash.

I genuinely feared a lawsuit.

I imagined myself standing in front of a judge trying to explain why I had grievously harmed this man by spray-painting his testicles.

4:19amEastCoast

Bwaaaaaahahahahhahahahahahahhahah!

4:19amRobert

but then it turned out that ralph had just scrubbed too hard to get the paint off.

he was fine.

we’re still friends…

though I’m pretty sure I’ll never have to see his dick again.

4:20amEastCoast

NICE!

4:20amRobert

win.


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