- No less than four and not more than ten people told me they love/ wanted to: date/make out/have sex with me
- I am covered in bruises and bite marks
- Three people commented on my significant weight loss and how great I look
- I spent $35 at the QD and I did NOT get drunk
- I led the bar singing Queen at last call again
- I had to fend off a guy trying to eat my face with a baseball bat
- I drove home a drunk kid in a Santa suit.