This was taken from my LiveJournal circa 2004.
My ex boyfriend used to worked for Coca-Cola and never quite understood me or my love for Moxie cola, but respected it enough to give me a crate of at the time new Moxie Energy Drink. This was a review that I had written about it.
Behold, in all its glory: Moxie energy drink.
Let’s run through some of the facts about the stuff: beyond the man-made chemicals and such, it contains the energy drink standard of Taurine, the Moxie standard of Gentian Root, and well over 100% of your daily requirements of Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Vitamin C and Niacin. Wait… Niacin? “…a water-soluble vitamin necessary for many aspects of health, growth, and reproduction.” Oh man, that is way too sexual for its own good. “Niacin assists in the functioning of the digestive system, skin, and nerves. It is also important for the conversion of food to energy.” Oh, okay. Cool enough.
Yeah, the stuff tastes great. Best tasting energy drink on the market. Period. You can go fuck yourself Rockstar, you’re no longer needed you tolerable-tasting swill.
The drink has a subtle Moxie taste, so only some one really into Moxie will probably taste the resemblance. It also doesn’t have the usual aftertaste but instead packs a tart/tangy flavor when it first hits your tongue. It doesn’t taste exactly like Moxie, but it tastes enough to carry the name. Kinda like Marxism and Communism, kinda.
I hope Nobody’s around….
I don’t care what the Republicans say, I ❤ You, Moxie Energy Drink!!!
Dear God… what have I done?!
Well, there you have it. My only real complaint, if you can call it that, is the slogan that is printed on the can: Must be avoided by Couch Potatoes. But what the hell do you expect for an energy drink based off a soda only people in their late 70s drink anyway? C’mon. If you like energy drinks, buy this. If you like Moxie, buy this. If you don’t like either, buy this anyway and quite your fucking bitching about your heart defect. Dick.